A man named Jason spoke at church last Sunday.
He spoke about those people in your life.
How you should surround yourself with certain people.

Like Jonathan was to David.

It's something I've been struggling with for a year now, since I've lost the people in my life that could support me. The ones that had the same passions as I did.

Jonathan could see the Kingdom of Heaven inside of David, he could imagine David's future, and he would stop at nothing to help David get there...as a friend. He would even betray his father to help him out.

The one thing Jason demanded while giving certain points (I need to borrow someone's notes, as I didn't have anything to write with that night.) is to ask yourself, "Do I have these people in my life?" and, "I'm I that person in someone elses life?"

I realized suddenly, that this is what's been eating at me for months now.

I don't have those positive friends anymore around me.
I don't have those people that I can share my passions and dreams with.
I don't have that support.

Not even my roommate, who is supposed to be my best friend, is someone I can confide in anymore. He no longer understands what it means to be an authentic christian.

No...that's wrong.

He no longer [practices] being an authentic christian.
"Christ Like" means nothing to him anymore.

And I hate to say it, but it's affecting me; bringing me down.

I go to church, and I want to know more of God, want to experience more, and get back on track, but in every other aspect of my life I'm just struggling to get by.

I'm being fed negetivity too much in my own apartment, and I feel like things should be different. When I moved him here, I did so with the impression that we'd help each other grow into better christians and people, and that we would constantly hold each other accountable.

Obviously I was wrong.
So now it's a struggle for me to just bring myself up, but with all my friends that I have in Virginia, it's so easy to just let God stay in church and live my life without his presense.

I say that he's there, and I know it, but I don't acknowledge it with my everyday life. My every decision and daily steps are just lacking Him, and I want it to be different.

It's just so hard, with everything going on.
In need those people that Jason talked about last sunday, I need those christians who will help to bring me to a higher place. I know that I can be that for other people, but it's just so discouraging to know that I have to do this all by myself.

I'm all alone.