Tonight I was informed that I was being thrown a surprise party. Contrary to what you might be thinking, this wasn't a secret that was let out, but it was actually necessary. The truth, they realized, was that they don't really know all of my friends within Virginia, so how could they possibly throw a party if they don't invite everyone I might want there (or if they invite people I just flat out don't know!)?
Hey. It's just one of those things.
So this Friday there's will be a going away party in my honor. It sounds more pretentious when I use the words, "my honor," but I could care less. Either way I can't wait.
"Can't wait."
Now there are two words I've been using a lot recently.
Can't wait for my time in the Navy to be done.
Can't wait to drive to Texas.
Can't wait to stop and visit Ellen (on the way).
Can't wait to grow out my hair.
Can't wait to be a civilian.
Can't wait to start school.
Can't wait to be on stage again.
Can't wait to meet new people.
Can't wait to be with old friends.
Can't wait to have more time for myself. My pursuits.
Can't wait for the new music from my favorite artists.
That new sound.
That new stride.
That new life.
Can't wait.
As I started to think about all the things I can't wait for, and the overabundance of those words I've been using, I began to wonder about whether or not God felt the same way. It wasn't something I thought very much on, but it seemed to hit me, almost immediately, that perhaps God doesn't exactly wait. I mean, besides the obvious fact that there is no "time" with God...he just is....and God just doesn't have to wait regardless. He already has a plan set out for you, for me, and I believe that plan is always there. The thing is, that plan rests solely on your shoulders; whether or not you choose to put your faith in him tends to be the defining factor. We are constantly veering off this path, and then slowly coming back to it, but it's always the same path, and it's always moving forward.
There is a chance then that we are fully capable of missing it completely.
People tend to say that things happen for a reason. I'm one of those people. Unfortunately, I cannot believe that ALL things happen for a reason, because that just wouldn't be right. That would be like saying that God plans for us to move off the path, and that's just flat out ridiculous. Sure, he expects it, most likely, but I'm sure he would rather us stay on the path and allow everything to be hunky dory.
Side note: Scratch "hunky dory" from my vocabulary. Never use those words again.
So, the truth is, of all the things that I can't wait for, the one that should be at the top is my relationship with God. As far as the others go, I actually CAN wait for those things, it just tends to be a figure of speech that I use to express my growing anxiety - excitement - for the future to come. But God, he doesn't wait, because he already knows what's there. He's going to allow you to stray from the path, and keep moving forward, and if you don't come back eventually, then he'll just shrug his shoulders and keep moving. Does that mean we have to catch up with him when we realize we've taken a turn?
no. He's ahead of you, and he has no problem turning around if you call his name, you just gotta make that effort.
Seriously, when was the last time you actually asked for him to meet you?
Instead of waiting for the moment where you can be with God - saying to yourself that "when I get to this point" you will start following him again - you need to realize that he's not just waiting there. I'm pretty sure preachers will tell you quite the opposite, that God is always there waiting "with arms wide open" for your return, but that's just kind of sad, isn't it? I mean, it's quite possible that God might be waiting there forever. It's quite possible that you may never come back. Of course, let's say you do come back, would you want to come back to that same spot on the path just to find him waiting?
No, I would hope not. You want to have made at least some progress, and to see that God is still moving your path ahead even without you on it. He was working in you, and he didn't stop.
Maybe that's why people don't come back so easily. They were looking behind them, back at that spot where they left the path in the first place, and it doesn't look so wonderful does it. That's because God is gone, and that's who you were before. Even if it was a happy time in your life, why the heck would you want to go back?
So you keep moving off the path, until you've lost traces of where the path was in the first place.
All you had to do was look forward though, and you'll see God there. Maybe he's far away, and maybe you have to catch up a little bit, but I bet if you just called his name he would look back and smile. He'd turn around, and with you moving towards him he would also do the same, and I bet when you finally reached each other he'd put his hands in the air and ask you what took so long? "Where have you been?" he asks. "Here, look," he'll point ahead of you on the path, where he just backtracked to come meet you, "I've seen your future, and boy does it look great. Let's get to it!"
I imagine he looks like paul newman when he says this.
God. I realize. Doesn't wait. There's no reason for him to. He has to keep moving. There's still plenty to do. He hopes you find your way again, but without you calling he can't do anything to help you. Heck, he might not even notice you've fallen behind. That's the beauty of forgiveness, isn't it?
In reality, I literally cannot wait for God. I gotta start moving. I've got to call his name.
After all, there's something good at the end of this path, and I want to get to it with him beside me.
Mattias is an actor, writer, filmmaker, and editor currently living in Los Angeles, CA. He often writes about his observations about life, the human condition, spirituality, and relationships. He also enjoys writing about movies, pop culture, formula one, and current events. Often these writings are 'initial thoughts' and un-edited, as authentic as possible, and should be considered opinions. If you're interested in commenting on his work, or continuing the conversation, you should consider following him on Twitter or share an article on social media, where he would love to engage even further. Consider subscribing via RSS for more.