Published on
August 9, 2007

I'm still awake, but I'm getting more tired. I'm watching an episode of Heroes to help pass the time. I never got to watch the series, so I'm trying to catch up.

Anyway, if you're just joining us then the first blog in this series is [here] posted only minutes ago. n_n

At that point, I tried to not think about much, and try to sleep again. Failure seems to be catching up to me.

There were a bunch of small things then, and not much I can quite recall vividly.
One, not so important, Dream that I do remember, is taking a few photographs. I want to redo the "Torn Sweater Series" made famous by James Dean. In relation to the last Day Dream, I wanted to get as many pictures as I could in the same fashion, put them together so that I could have my own head-shots for Auditions if I wanted. Maybe even do as many expressions as possible, for me anyway, to emphasize flexibility...which...I'm not so sure I actually have, but we'll see. Of course, the pictures would be on myspace, so you'll be sure to see them sooner or later.

I also got another idea for a photograph that I'd want to do, which, if it starts raining today, I might actually take later on this evening. Other than that, I can't remember much of the small stuff.

Things are starting to become a blur at this point...better type fast.

I do know that I thought about my apartment; the person who will be moving in next week; and how things'll work out as we all tend to move along. I thought about God, needless to say, and how I need to talk to him more often.

I remembered being at a bible study once, where a guy told us how, when he and his friend started living together, he trained himself (for lack of a better word) to go outside every night just to talk to God...to pray. He made a habit out of it, which sometimes I disagree with when certain things become habit and it doesn't mean anything anymore.

This one, though, I saw the help it did.

Getting into the habit of Talking to God isn't necessarily a bad thing, unless you tend to be repetitive and don't actually talk to him, but just way what you think is "supposed" to be said.

One thing the guy mentioned, though, is how his roommate and him have agreed to hold each other accountable for certain things. If he, for instance, stayed inside around the time he usually goes out to pray, his roommate would ask him curiously, "Aren't you going to go pray tonight?"

So he holds him accountable.

It's good to have that, to be in such a habit, that it's uncommon for people around you NOT to see you reading your bible or praying. I hope I can get into that at one point, but at the same time I hope it doesn't become so repetitive that it loses its meaning.

This, of course, led me to the bible study that I'd love to do one day, even tomorrow if I was ready. I want to start getting a group of people together, who just love to discuss certain things, to help raise my own morale and maybe even enlighten each other on specific subjects. I know that I don't know everything, though I tend to think I know it all, so it would help to have someone else to help me in getting facts straight.

There's also certain parts of the bible the I DO have questions on, but just don't have a means of getting them out there, or seeing what other people think.

Holding this in my own living room, with people on my futon and also on the floor, would be fun for me. Just to have friends, and smiling faces, those that I could agree with, or disagree with and hopefully have them not hate me in the end; though I think I have that tendency with people. It would really be...well...swell.

Mattias is an actor, writer, filmmaker, and editor currently living in Los Angeles, CA. He often writes about his observations about life, the human condition, spirituality, and relationships. He also enjoys writing about movies, pop culture, formula one, and current events. Often these writings are 'initial thoughts' and un-edited, as authentic as possible, and should be considered opinions. If you're interested in commenting on his work, or continuing the conversation, you should consider following him on Twitter or share an article on social media, where he would love to engage even further. Consider subscribing via RSS for more.