I wouldn't say I'm the easiest person to deal with. Nor do I even claim to be someone worth knowing. On the outside, I'm a very simple guy to figure out. What's happening on the inside is a much more complex story.

I'm a thinker. I'm constantly self-aware. I'm always trying to connect the dots. I've never claimed to be smarter than anyone, but I do know that my train-of-thought, and therefore my common sense, is much different from other people. Whereas most would go with the most obvious route to a solution, I am more inclined to do something different, in order to gain a better understanding. (I tried this in math class, and it worked some of the time, but then I soon found myself failing at similar problems. There's only one way to solve each type of math problem; which probably explains why I never had quite enjoyed it.)

As I started to follow God I began to learn new things about life, and the world around me. As God continued to give me knowledge I began to get excited with learning more and more about him, and I pursued answers. I felt smart. Yet I wasn't coming to a lot of these conclusions all by myself, and most of the answers I had were found by other people whom I was only imitating. I soon found that my application of this new found knowledge didn't always work out as planned. I wasn't figuring out any problems, I was just creating more questions.

My ideology, the God that was being revealed throughout my life, I found to be much more complex and shrouded the more I thought I understood him. My fascination with connecting the dots only proved in me taking a wrong turn and having to backtrack. It's not so simple, I found out, and it's actually quite frustrating.

Which is why I have a problem with settling with the most obvious solution. When there is a trial, and God is testing me, I tend to not go with the common sense answer. During a hard situation, there's usually a lesson on the surface that immediately jumps out at me. This, some might say, is sometimes all that God wants us to learn. To that I would say, "Bravo, thanks for wasting my time." Because those lessons learned are usually already common knowledge to me.

If I'm really being tried, if God really wants me to learn something so I can become a better person, then the answer is not going to be something that I can immediately grasp at, so that I can shrug it off and move on with my life. Instead it's going to be something I haven't learned yet. It's going to be something that's deep inside of me that I have to struggle with in order to set it free. Knowledge is not easy to come by.

(ironically, once it's there, one always wonders why it was so difficult to figure out in the first place; because It seems so obvious now.)

Given that we often go through tough times, I implore you never to settle for the answers directly on the surface. If someone ever tells you "sometimes it's just that simple" when it comes to lessons from God, never believe them. In my experience, it's never that simple. James said to accept trials with Joy, that the testing of our faith creates perseverance, so that we might be complete and not lacking in anything. If you think you understand the purpose of a trial quickly, and you are satisfied with this and decide to move ahead, then you haven't persevered much.

I've asked for wisdom, and God will grant that, but he doesn't give it to me through books or conversation with man alone. That would be simple. That would leave me heartless. Instead he looked at me, evaluated, and showed me that I need to live. I need to struggle. Within struggle I will find that wisdom. And if I really want to be satisfied, if I really want to get to the end of this in order to breathe a sigh of relief, then I need to challenge myself. I cannot settle for the easy answers or obvious conclusions. I need to be able to look around it, find another way, in order to see what else is there. Essentially, what is it that I'm not seeing?

Then, and only then, can I be truly satisfied with having learned something new, or having persevered and accomplished something. As God continues to challenge me I know I'll always be exploring further. I won't give up on a quest, and almost as soon as I've found the treasure hiding deep beneath the surface, I'll be off in search for the next adventure. The experience alone is worth it.