But I still want to get it out.
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I'm listening to "Her Mix Tape." A playlist I made a while back on my itunes.

It's what I listen to when I start missing that specific person...when I start to think about them.

It reminds me of how I messed up.
It brings back memories of the good times we had.
It makes me sad...
But the music makes me happy.

Cause sometimes...when I'm in the car...I'll sing it out...every word and every note.

Let out the frustration...sometimes a tear...but not really.
Real men don't cry.

People tell me that I'm destined for greater things...and I believe them.

It goes to my head. I have the ego...the conceitedness of what it takes to be famous.
I have the talent.
I have the looks (on those good days when I like to look in the mirror at this ugly mug.)
I have the personality...
And the passion.

I guess there's just one thing I don't have...the one thing that people think is the most important thing in the world.

"Behind every great man, is a woman rolling her eyes."
-Bruce Nolan (Jim Carrey) in Bruce Almighty

I don't have that person.
The person to listen to me and support me.
Put up with my bad habits.
Tell me when I'm wrong.

I don't have that person that I can make smile.
That I can make happy.
That I can show love.

But that's too generic...and I'm not meant for that.

What I've concluded...
is that I'm not meant to have that.

I think some people are destined to be alone.

I look at single mothers, that go through the rest of their lives without anyone.
I don't like to see them like that...they are meant to have someone...but they don't.

Yet, even they can put on that smile...the one that tells you that they are content and happy with the way things are.

Sure, it could be better...but some things aren't meant to be 'better'.

I live each day walking along, looking at my best friend beside me and pointing out the cute girl across the street. It's what we do. We're not lusting, because we don't stare, we just say that "She's pretty."

Throughout my life I meet people, and girls come and go.

I make the mistake of trying to ask myself why people are put into my life.
I try and figure things out, and wonder how I might be able to help them, or how they might be able to help me.
Why is it that I've met this specific person?

I know that my friends will tell me that the person I'm supposed to fall in love with is out there...and the time will come when we meet.

I like to believe them.

But then I realize that the possibility can't be true.
I'm not good enough for anyone.

The future holds great things for me.
I'll change peoples lives.
I'll stir hearts and get people thinking.
People will laugh with me and I'll be a light to the world...or die trying.

Which reminds me, that sometimes I wonder what would happen if I died young.
What would people say?

...what would she say?

Those people that have lost touch with me or decided I'm not worth talking to. Will they regret those decisions?

I sure hope so.

I never wish anything bad on people. I only hope that they'll end up regretting their decisions if they've made one to forget about me.

Because I'll move on, and do what people have said that I'll be...famous.

Unfortunetally, I've determined that I'll have to be alone in the process.

But I'll put on that smile...and be content...and happy with the way things are.
Single isn't so bad.
Sure, things could be better.

But sometimes they're not meant to be.