It just so happens that I watched to movies today that featured a "Charlie" as the main character, also that Robert Downey Jr. had a major role in both movies was an interesting coincidence; though I knew about the facts beforehand. Charlie Bartlett had Downey playing an alcoholic High School Principal, while Chaplin featured him in his Golden Globe and Oscar nominated turn as the infamous Charles Chaplin himself. This post, if you haven't figured it out yet, is about the latter Charlie.

Now, I've always had a fascination with the icon known as Charlie Chaplin, what with his uncontested contribution to cinema during its early stages, but whenever there came a chance to buy any of his films, I always balked at the opportunity. I really couldn't tell you why I did so, but I think it was a combination of being afraid I might see Chaplin, but I wouldn't actually enjoy him, and also the fact that I wasn't sure where the best place to start was; after all, he's made over 70 movies.

After seeing Chaplin, and assuming that the movie stuck close to it's source material, I can now say that those two fears above are no longer an issue. Not only did I get to experience the fascination that Chaplin had when he first got started in the business, I also got to witness how dedicated Charles was to the movie industry as a whole. That, along with the many tribulations he had to face in his life - despite his moral decisions in some cases - immidietely shot him up to where I always imagined he should have belonged in my mind; amongst those that have inspired me the most when it comes to the actors or the Moving Picture Industry. That man is a favorite, and I can now see why he is (and if not, should be) the most famoust actor of all time.

I should also give Robert Downey some credit as well, because if it wasn't for his amazing performance I might not feel this way. Give him a little more time and he'll be among that list of mine as well, and probably hanging on my wall someday with other portraits I plan on accumulating in the future. Does that count as Idolism? I don't count them before God, I just like to be inspired. Regardless, watch this movie if you want a glimpse at either actors, because both are amazing.

In my egotistical state, however, I began to wonder how I might possibly be remembered after my life is over; of course, I do this a lot, but more specific thoughts came to mind this time around. First off, I thought about Autobiographies. Not that I would ever take the time to write one, but I am so conceited at times that no doubt it's crossed my mind once or twice. However, I'd rather be using my life to actually DO profound things rather than writing about them, and so I strayed over to Biographies themselves and wondered why some people took so much time to research and learn about certain people so that they could pen their entire life story. Indeed, I suppose I could be just as guilty for reading up on a certain person, or even watching a movie about them, but I began to wonder - more specifically - whether or not my life might be worth writing about someday. Then I thought about what I might say to something like that, and it hit me.

I don't think I want it. I wouldn't want them to waste the time. After all, why spend months researching my life when you could be doing something so much more meaningful (not that writing about me ISN'T meaningful...just saying.)

I've come to some strange conclusion that I don't want my life to be any secret. Anyone who's even remotely close to me knows that I'm a very truthful person. I'm truthful about my feelings. I'm truthful about my opinions. And I'm always straightforward and honest when it comes to speaking my mind or being myself. This is just the way I am, and I think it's the best way to live.

There have been times where I've noticed that the mystery of a person is something to be cherished. Not to mention, think of the coolest person you know, and you probably don't know a darn thing about them. That's the mystery of a person, and at times I wanted to BE that person. I wanted to be the one that people always wanted to know more about, the one that made people wonder, and always exuded that aroma of "cool." But now I realize that this is a complete controdiction of the way God made me, and that would be going against creation as well as myself.

The truth is, I don't want to be a mystery. I want people to know what I did in my life, because everything I do I plan on glorifying God with, and if I kept my life a secret then I would be keeping people away from the most amazing relationship they might ever have the chance to experience. I don't want people to look at me and have to wonder, "What is it about him?" I want them to look at me and know: This is what I think; this is what I do; and this is WHO I AM.

Don't waste your time on the research. Don't read a book to find all the answers. Just look at what I've done, and see....whatever it is that I've done!! I don't keep my life a secret, I am not a mystery. Sure, I'm not going to tell you all the intimate details on the relationships between me and my friends and family, but when it comes to me, and what I'M all about, then by all means I'll share it.

This is actually a big milestone for me, considering I've always seemed to struggle internally with the kind of person I wanted to be (the cool) with the one that I actually seem to be (the dork.) Unfortunately, what remains is for me to find those characteristics that I want people to see, so that I don't end up a total arrogant jerk like I probably come off as to a multitude of people who ever try to get close to me.

That said, you can see how much I've strayed from Chaplin to this. In fact, I don't think there's any connection between my revelation and Charles, if only the fact that he's inspired me beyond all reason. Somewhat selfishly, I hope that I can be as infamous as him someday, despite how unlikely that is. However, I hope it will be because of the things I believe in, God being the top of those things. Sure, people say to separate career and God, and I'll probably be hated just as much as I'm liked, but if it wasn't for God I wouldn't be who I am today, nor who I will be in the future, and so all the glory and credit belongs to him.

I wouldn't have it any other way.