"Let life be your material...your resource..."

Good golly miss Molly, where do I start with this?

Was hurt again...by someone who made me the happiest I've been in a long time.

In some messed up sadistic way, there's a game being played...and unfortunetally I was a participant.

Really that's all I want to say on that subject, if I go into details you'd be here longer.

But life was depressing the last few days...I had to talk to a few people, and that made it better...just to know where everything was standing and to know that the way I felt wasn't the wrong way to look at things.

I don't know what's going to happen...for once in my life I have no idea where I'm going...when it comes to the situations anyway.

But as for everything else.

Thomas is here, and I force him to play guitar while I come up with the words to say how I'm feeling and try and relate to an audience that isn't there.

It's a long road to the top, but once you get it started then it's hard to stop, and I hope we get there soon.

After seeing The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus on stage saturday night, again I'm left with the feeling that "I want to be there."

It was an amazing concert, and they're an amazing band. Some influence is coming from them as we speak.

Plan on me being there...on stage in the end. Using what hurts most to give those lost some direction.

If I hadn't been so emo the past few days, (as thomas puts it), then I'd fill you in on exactly how messed up some things are right now.

My trust has been construed, that's all you should know...and I don't think anyone can regain that back. Don't tell me there's someone...cause there's not...and I'm going to accept that fact quickly and pray that realization hits me.

I just want her only...is that so bad?