Published on
November 9, 2006

A year ago today, my life suddenly jumpstarted...

By 11:30 that night I would have been stripped of all my belongings, save a pocket bible and pictures of the ones I left behind.

No longer was I being guided in the decisions I was going to make, now I was being told what decisions I would be making.

Sitting in the hallway that night was one of the longest nights I had ever experienced. Surrounded by the strangers that I would be spending the next 9 weeks living with, wondering what I got myself into, I tried my best to tell myself that this was the next chapter in my life.

This was where I would actually start becoming the person I wanted to be, an individual among those that hadn't grown up with me or gone to school with me. It would be months before I saw a familiar face, or clasped a familiar hand.

I was now on my own...very unsure of the future...but prepared for the pain and struggles that the reality known as God was about to set in my path.

"Smiling in spite things...I'll play your silly game."
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It's hard to come with terms at how fast my life has actually moved since I joined the military...indeed the motto "accelerate your life" was a true statement.

Many times when I sit on watch for that extra 4 hour duty (or more depending) the thoughts start coming to my head, "Why did I ever make this decision?"

The answer is easy.

My mom. She was in the Navy too. Long time ago...before she received the best christmas present in the world...me.

It was her and my family that convinced me that I had to join the Navy.

I was too lazy to fill out scholorship applications, not to mention I still didn't know what I was doing with my life...but I knew that I would need help for college if I was to attend.

Being that my brother and sister were right behind me in graduation, I didn't want them to have to deal with the same decisions and struggles. And I definitely knew that my mom wouldn't be able to help me out with college...much less my brother and sister afterwards.

And let's face it...answering phones at the local pizza hut in small town Angleton just wasn't cutting it.

I had to get out. See the world that God had made...and not just .00000003268% of it.

Before I graduated I had already signed the papers. Made arrangements to not ship out till after my summer...and then lived life like I always had...one day at a time...

...before saying goodbye.

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My initial thoughts on the coming future were these:

  1. Get money for college
  2. Travel the world while in the Navy
  3. Get a teacher's degree (high school)
  4. Do art on the side (didn't want to be a starving artist you know)
  5. Get famous and scratch 1-3.

It was a simple goal, one that would have me set for life.

I would become a teacher (something with computers or video stuff I'm sure) and have the same schedule as the youth, and then I would have plenty of time to help pastor the local youth group in whatever small town I was raising my children in.

I already had Danielle who also wanted to be a teacher, and I was more than content to make that kind of salary.

So what happened?

Well that goal was the same in and througout boot camp. Didn't have anything to change my mind otherwise, and pretty much I wasn't thinking about it (focused on more important things...like getting out of there ASAP.)

Went to "A" School in Mississippi...what a drag. But I experienced living alone for the first time, and it's still the coolest thing ever...

My goals were pretty much the same...except I wanted to put more effort into art than I first intended.

It was there that I was giving the harsh realization that I would not be seeing much of the world soon. Turned down the option to go overseas, I was told that I would be heading to Norfolk, Virginia for the start of my naval career.

First thoughts on this..."I love virginia...I was born there...My dad lives in virginia...I'd rather be somewhere else."

Unknown to me that come April, I would be fully moved into his house in a small 8 by 8 foot room with a bed taking up 1/3rd of that space.

For now...home sweet home.
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So this is where life started to move fast...because training was over and I was now doing whatever I wanted with a fairly good source of income. Finally I could start living again.

Thing was...where would I start?

Well I got to meet the family already...dad...step mom...two stepsisters...and a step cousin that had runaway before I arrived...(never saw much of the guy come to think of it.)

This was my only source of seclusion from my harsh military schedule which I was still getting used to. Back then I had thought that I was in for the worst 4 years of my life, and would rather die or go AWOL than continue on with this life.

That's where my stepsisters did something good.

They befriended me and brought me to there church. Tried to introduce me to people.
Everyday I could come home and smile because...I had people to hang out with and be around. (it was a nice alternative to being in the barracks with nothing to do.)

And since the first thing on my list was to find a church...that was also a good thing too.

But I slowly realized that church was becoming a less and less part of my life. Though I still do have a powerful relationship with God, actually being in a physical church is kinda lax at the moment.

So being part of a Youth group, one of my biggest goals in life...is on hold...but we're still moving forward.

As a few months went by I was getting used to the family and how they did things...and it was fun hanging out with my step-sisters.

They brought me to their dance recitals...and I had a new appreciation for dance that I had never known before. Even wanted to try it.

But it was during those months that I figured out what I really wanted to do.

As I was trying out this church I came to the conclusion that I didn't want to be a teacher anymore.

No, for some reason I had some sorta vision (call me crazy) that has fully developed in my mind as a traveling theatre of sorts.

Since that is not the point of this story, I won't go into detail.
But as of now that vision has developed into a project called "Priest and Kings" which will be an outreach to the christian generation in the form of a cure. Presented in the form of Drama, Film, Dance, poetry (spoken word,) and Music. As of yet unknown side projects associated are a Coffeehouse, a magazine, and a record label/studio.

Delusions of Grandure to the untrained eye...but possibility to those that dream big...and as we all know...I'm a big dreamer...
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It was at a dance recital that I met Jared Bethune.
Through the power of myspace I learned of his brother's independent theatre group "For the Love of Theatre."

Their first production, a musical called "Urinetown."

And for the months ensueing my radical appifiny (...?) I was now involved in something I had missed for over a year (at that time,)...drama.

Unbeknownst to me I would also be involved in alot more drama than I signed up for.
That I am not going to go into.

Either way, I now found myself spending less and less time at home.

For I had some new found friends, and I was finally feeling like myself again.
(and I got to use my camera...yipppeeee!!!!...a new video to work on.)

Since Urinetown has ended, I still find myself never at home unless to do laundry and sleep.

I've been involved in more high school events than one person who graduated a year and a half ago should.

I never knew I would have as many "good friends" as I do now. I always thought that the friends I had would be the limit of "good" or "best". I knew that I would make friends...I always do...but somewhere along the lines I find myself distancedfrom my old life. And now the new life is in full swing...and was only building up until this point.

It's almost like a double life, where there's the people that know me from Texas...and then there's the people that know me from Virginia. Same Mattias Marasigan, but different stories all together.

But not without consequence...
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In the past year, alot has happened:

  1. If it wasn't for the Navy, I wouldn't be in Virginia...that's the first thing I always point out. And if it wasn't for that I wouldn't have realized all the possibilities I was missing out on...and life would be ever boring for me.
  2. I broke up from a 3 year relationship. This was the hardest thing for me to do...and even harder to come to the realization that I wouldn't talk to her again. But I'm over it...and now realize that it would have never worked out. It's a new life from here on out.
  3. Though I'm unsure of how it will happen...I know what my future will consist of. I still plan on being famous, and I want the road to Priests and Kings to represent that.
  4. I am a college dropout. No longer am I looking to go to college, and especially not with my previous choice in web design. I can do better without the college (I've concluded,) and let's face it...my life is too interesting to dull it down with a stupid job such as that.
  5. New friends, New commitments, and New passions.
  6. Same olde me, same olde compromises.

Doesn't seem like much, but non of this came easy...I assure you.

As of now I'm still doing what I do...taking it a day at a time.

My best friend Thomas will be moving up here (hopefully shortly,) and will eventually live with me in our very own apartment. Where I'll be able to fully realize my dream of having my own furniture...along with my own fridge with nothing but cereal and icecream.

And then we'll live out our dream of having a band, and work on being starving artists with a passion.

That's the life I want to live.

And every day I look up and say, "I'm going to need your help on this."

And he loves me...so I love what I get.

This is me...life individual...living it up...more confident than ever...this is you...smiling and saying "that's my Matt."

I'll keep you posted on the things to come...as of now...just rest assured that "I love you."

Mattias is an actor, writer, filmmaker, and editor currently living in Los Angeles, CA. He often writes about his observations about life, the human condition, spirituality, and relationships. He also enjoys writing about movies, pop culture, formula one, and current events. Often these writings are 'initial thoughts' and un-edited, as authentic as possible, and should be considered opinions. If you're interested in commenting on his work, or continuing the conversation, you should consider following him on Twitter or share an article on social media, where he would love to engage even further. Consider subscribing via RSS for more.