I write...because when i do...I use common sense...and it's always better...and then I feel better...instead of just thinking...and losing a battle...sometimes you have to get it out.

---------------//dot

So was right...I don't belong...I'm not wanted.

"drowning in my sleep"

That's what I'm listening to...by underoath.

I like them...music always makes me feel better...no matter what it is.

My friends...well...people I know...

they are probably watching a movie right now. It's funny, because since I've been with them I've told them..."I think I feel like watching a movie"

At first I was given the question "with what money?"

and afterwards...well...I just was never acknowledged.

Yet other people bring up the idea...well...girls...you know how it is with guys. All of a sudden they all want to see a movie. And I'm pretty sure this was planned with some of the guys I was already with...meaning they didn't want to go with me...because they already had plans...and that didn't include me.

So therefore I wouldn't have been invited.

And if I had been invited...it would've been the usual thinking:

"I don't want to look mean so I'll invite him...even though I don't want him to go...cause that's the right thing to do right?"

I don't know.

I guess I'm saying that: "I'm done"

I'm done with having people come join us at a game of pool, and they say 'hi' to their friends, and then they see me sitting in a chair...and it's "oh...hey"

I'm done with people confusing "egotistical" with "cockyness." I like being cocky...so what.

I'm never saying I'm the best at anything, and always admit a loss.

Cocky is different...it's having confidence...with an attitude. If I was bragging about my "mad skills" or saying "you suck" then come talk to me about being egotistical...but if I'm having fun with competition...get over it.

I'm done with people saying they'll call me...or telling me that there's other people that want to hang out with them...and then I go hanging out with my friends...(oh wait)...people I know.

and they call that same person I'm hanging out with.

So in other words...no one wants to call me...or hang out with me...and I'm just tagging along.

And you're being nice...or irritated...whichever one.
Even though you don't want to deal with me.

So I'm done.

I guess...I want to feel better...and I want to say that this is all in my head.

But I know it's true. That no one wants to hang out with me...no one really likes who I am.

I guess I was wrong to think...that maybe I do belong...ya...I was wrong.