Published on
November 2, 2009

Today I finished the most recent book by Donald Miller, "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years", and I have to say that there couldn't have been a more perfect time for me to have read it.  The book is about, in essence, the art of storytelling within our lives, or just how we can live a better story.  He takes the experiences he's having with editing his own past to put in a screenplay form, based on some memoirs of his, "Through Painted Deserts", that two producers want to turn into a movie.  As he learns more and more about what makes a good story, and how story's are basically "life" without all the "boring stuff", he embarks on a journey to make his own life that of a good story.  All the while he explores how God's hand guides these stories, where he comes in during specific moments in life, and what it is God might have meant when he called us into being.

I've never read the Purpose Driven Life, but if I had I would probably recommend Donald Miller instead.  If this doesn't inspire you to create more memorable scenes within your own life, I don't know what will.

It's November 1st, and that means I've officially resurrected my christmas playlist.  This means that if you're ever riding with me in the car, you will be forced to endure christmas cheer as I see it, and you won't be allowed to criticize.  As I've said before, this is my season, so all you summer lovers can shove it.  I wasn't born on Christmas Day for no reason.

Though I haven't really had the time to think about it, winter is definitely close, if not here already, and to me it's so much more than that.  It will be my first winter in Austin, after my military service, and at a time where everything in my life is ultimately changing; overall I'm just glad the next chapter starts with winter.  On the subject of memorable moments, I can confidently say that all of mine have come during the winter months, or at least it seems that way.

I'm not sure if it's something that the season does to people.
I don't know if it's just me.
Either way, when winter comes all the world just seems to be cooperating with each other, and it makes my own experiences that much more enjoyable.

However, I have had some bad experiences during the winter season, and there's always that feeling of loneliness that comes when you can't spend the holidays with someone special.  I know you know the feeling too, because it builds up within everyone, and you've experienced a couple of times.  That's just how the season goes, but the good news is that you're not the only one.  Strangely enough, the lonely feeling you share with everyone else makes you not alone at all, and I know that doesn't make you feel any better, but at least you know you can persevere until the time comes where you no longer have that feeling.

As for me, I have a feeling that it's going to be a good winter, and as I strive to make my life a better story I know it will be memorable no matter what.  The first step to doing this, as I learned by reading Donald Miller's book, is to let go of fear.

Fear of rejection.
Fear that I'm not good enough.
Fear that I'll fail.

Fear.

A strange thing I've noticed recently about myself.  In the past I used to look in the mirror, and all my insecurities would come rushing to the surface.  During high school, before all the experiences I've had that's helped shape who I am today, I was afraid of not being accepted.  I grew up a loser, unpopular, and very much aware that I was nobody to a lot of people.  I knew what it was like to hate myself, and my life, even when I had so much going for me, and a lot of growing up to do.  It hurt sometimes, and I can't say when things started to look up, but slowly and surely it did.

Now I look at myself in the mirror, and all those insecure thoughts don't even flutter inside.  Instead the first thought that comes to mind is, "God, I see exactly who you created me to be, and it's beautiful."  Most would call that ego.  Hell, I'm pretty much a douchebag after those first two seconds, when I find myself trying to flex those non-existent muscles.  Guys will lie to you, but they all do this.

Regardless, in that moment, I regain my confidence, and in contrast to what I used to feel when I looked in the mirror, I would say it's an amazing turnaround.  Knowing that I am a work of God, and that he is still working through me today, gives me that confidence to keep pushing forward, and as long as I don't let the success get to my head I'm sure I'll be alright.

For the moment, I feel that I can take on the world, and it feels good.

Mattias is an actor, writer, filmmaker, and editor currently living in Los Angeles, CA. He often writes about his observations about life, the human condition, spirituality, and relationships. He also enjoys writing about movies, pop culture, formula one, and current events. Often these writings are 'initial thoughts' and un-edited, as authentic as possible, and should be considered opinions. If you're interested in commenting on his work, or continuing the conversation, you should consider following him on Twitter or share an article on social media, where he would love to engage even further. Consider subscribing via RSS for more.