Today was as you would expect it to be.

I spend the majority of the day doing laundry. It takes about 4 hours to dry a load with our crappy appliance. So while I did that I watched more Entourage by myself; because what else was I going to do.

I managed to get out to go have dinner with David Hildebrandt at Torchy's. Thanks man.

I also went to my friend Marshall's gig with Alex Montes.
Marshall and the Moon Dance. They were actually pretty good. I loved it.

I hesitate to sleep because I know the mornings bring the most pain.

I know that all this will take is time. No matter how much I try to forget about it, it's only with the passing of time that I real truly get back to myself again. I'm not completely gone. I've been worse. But it's not something I can escape.

People will think I'm being dumb by talking about this in the open. They might think I'm throwing myself a pity party. On the contrary, I believe I'm only serving to show my vulnerabilities. I am not invincible, and I like to remind myself, and others, of that. I let you know what I'm going through because it needs to be said. I need proof that this meant something, and you can relate to my own humanity.

The day after isn't really the hardest. It's the day after I feel like I've finally come to terms with it. The moment where it suddenly hits me in a dream or a triggered memory. That's the day I'm most afraid of.

But here I trust that God knows what he's doing.

Because I certainly don't.