A big part of having an ever growing relationship with God is understanding that you always have room for improvement.  Just when you think you have it all down, or you can see the direction God might be taking you, something comes along to teach you otherwise.

There's a thing brewing at Uprising that I'm trying to take the reigns of.  It's called "The Stronghold of En Gedi" and from our many brainstorm sessions I'm convinced it's going to be a major outreach/outlet for Youth in the South Austin area.  On a more personal level, I see it as a great opportunity for me to learn how to make Priests and Kings, my future traveling theatre, work for what God has planned for it.  Unfortunately, the more I started to think about how I can take on this project and run with it, the more I began to leave God out of it.

Don't get me wrong, I never tried to take God out of the equation.  He was very much a part of the vision and Stronghold as a whole would have been focused solely on God and his message of Love and how we as a community could represent that.  If it wasn't for him this entire thing might not have even taken shape within my mind, so I only have him to thank.

Having lunch with Danny today made me realize a simple truth:  That even though God may place me in a position to run this thing, it should never become MY project.  This should never be an opportunity for ME to accomplish what I want to.  Instead, keeping focus on what God wants, an Ark to save all living things, rather than how much I could DO with such an endeavor, should have been what was in my heart.  I could justify that God works through me, and therefore with me at the controls we will be alright no matter what, but that wouldn't necessarily be true either.  I could start this thing with the best of intentions and the right heart, but it's always quite possible that I could run it to the ground if I leave out the one thing that should hold it together.

So I'm praying that God will continue to give me the vision for this thing, but I'm also praying that God will work through me to make me a reliable and trustworthy leader.  The Stronghold of En Gedi comes from the story of David, who sought refuge from Saul within the stronghold before taking the crown, and I've always wanted to be like David in God's eyes when he says, "There is a man after my own heart."

I can't do this without him.  I need to know that everything I do is for him and not for my own benefit.  I need the wisdom and the guidance that only he can provide.  Because without that Stronghold will not accomplish what it is supposed to.

I need to remember to be a lot more like David.
And a lot less like Saul.

In essence, the Kingdom I create will be for him, and not for me.
I pray that I will never lose sight of that, and he will give me the resources and vision to see his will be done.