The summer has presented itself with a new opportunity. Recent events have shed some light on a new direction I have to take, and all my focus is now off the things I want and redirected to the things I need. First of all, I need to learn what it means to be a man of God.
Manhood has not come easily to me. Growing up without a father meant I had to learn what I can from wherever I could, and it was self taught. This means that a lot of the qualities that should make me a man are missing, some that I've tried to get a hold of, but never could fully grasp.
This is why I've dedicated my summer to understanding the qualities of a Godly man. I have mentors in place who have been made aware, and are fully prepared to bring me on this journey.
Individually I've already begun again going through David's life, even though I did this very recently, and have started a list of the qualities he possessed, good and bad, because all-in-all he was considered "a man after [God's] own heart." These things I intend to try and emulate, pray for, and instill within my character so that by summers end a new heart will have begun to take shape.
Simultaneously I will hopfully be putting into practice my own research on chivalry and attempting to create some form of coherent book on the subject. This will only be a sidenote, however, and the focus will first and foremost be on me and how I can bring out the lion and lamb within me.
I've watched some older movies this weekend which feature Marlon Brando and Paul Newman, each of whom have been considered men among men in their own right. Though I don't consider them the epitome of what God intended when he created man, I will look to the bible for examples of those, I do think there's something I could learn from the way they carry themselves on screen and off.
This summer I have a lot to learn. About what it means to be a man. To act like one. To re-act like one.
I feel like the days of Peter Pan are behind me. I can't hold on to the things I want to any longer. I have to start pursuing what God wants for me so that He can give me everything I need and desire.
It is time for me to grow up.
Mattias is an actor, writer, filmmaker, and editor currently living in Los Angeles, CA. He often writes about his observations about life, the human condition, spirituality, and relationships. He also enjoys writing about movies, pop culture, formula one, and current events. Often these writings are 'initial thoughts' and un-edited, as authentic as possible, and should be considered opinions. If you're interested in commenting on his work, or continuing the conversation, you should consider following him on Twitter or share an article on social media, where he would love to engage even further. Consider subscribing via RSS for more.