I watched the first 6 episodes of Entourage tonight. Strangely enough, the show has gotten me to do the one thing I've noticed I haven't been doing much of lately: Focusing.

I learned a few years back that I'm a person that likes to think...a LOT. I don't know what it is, and half the time I probably couldn't tell you what I'm thinking about; my mind wonders a little, but never-the-less I'm always thinking about something. Well in the past couple of days I've realized that I'm not doing much thinking...scratch that...I've been thinking, but for the most part I haven't felt like I've been thinking about the things that I should.

Not that I'm thinking dirty thoughts or anything, just that I'm not progressing with my thinking...I guess that would make me a progressive thinking...how bout that?

Point is, somehow it took a show about a pretty boy actor living the Hollywood life to get me to focus on the things that I want to focus on. I'll tell you the truth of why this happened, it's because I really believe that - that's where I want to be one day.

I'm not talking about the Drugs, Sex, or even Money and fancy thing. I'm talking about choosing scripts, reading reviews, and being on talk shows just to talk about myself. Naw I'm just kidding...
Ok...only half kidding...I'll admit that I like to talk about myself.
I have a blog dontcha know.

Seriously though, for some odd reason, ever since I've decided that I want to take acting more seriously and making it into a career, I really can't see myself doing anything else. I don't want to be egotistical here, but it's almost like I know for a fact that I'll be there one day. It may be a long shot, but I call it positive thinking.

So what am I focusing on now?

Well, for one, I usually would be at the gym right now, but I don't feel like wasting my time tonight. Instead I'm staying in and I'm going to write...starting with this blog post. Next I'm going to write a letter to Andrea, the first letter I'll have written while in Iraq, and I want to put a lot of thought into it and make it really special. Next, I'm going to pick up the small notebook my sister gave me, and I'm going to start a Production Journal. No, I'm not producing anything, but it's just me being funny; truthfully it's going to include all my notes for my screenplay, so that I can have a physical copy just in case I lose the one on my harddrive.

Pretty much, I'm focusing on the things I want to focus on, and also I'm thinking about my character and the person I want to be. Truthfully that's the one thing I want to accomplish while I'm here in Iraq, even if I don't get anything else done like the screenplay or learning another language. Just as long as I've analyzed myself, and become the person I once was or just want to be, then I'll be happy.

That kind've character I'm looking for, though, will take a lot of prayer and getting into God's word, so I hope I can do that as well; more than anything.

To me, this post is a proclamation of my confidence being gained back. I haven't been more sure of the words I'm typing than I am right now, and to me that really feels good. It's not that I completely lost who I was, but I know it's dwindled down to a person that I haven't been too proud of, and I'm praying that I can somehow come back.

Here's hoping.

PS: This doesn't usually happen, but my mind is going at full throttle. I feel completely restless, and I believe it's because of the Mocha Frappe I had early. This is crazy and probably has something to do with my inspiring moment, but whatever it is I'm glad at the same time.